November 26, 2003

remember when math was about numbers?

consider this:

f(x) = (tanh (e^x)) / (sin(ln x))

believe it or not, that's a math statement. you might be saying "liar! that's just a poorly constructed sentence with bad spelling and grammar!" no, i'm not a liar. well, i am, but not about this. that is a math statement.

i'm told it has real world applications.

i can only assume its real world applications include showing children how not to construct a sentence.

now reading: The Big Knockover: Selected Stories and Short Novels- Dashiell Hammett

thecomicman spoke @ 10:26 AM |

November 19, 2003

ha ha suckers!

so, i got a 54/70 on my second Calculus midterm.

this is a marked improvement from the pitiful 37/80 from the last one.

watch: 54/70 == 77%; 37/80 == 46%

while the crazy curving of the last midterm did land me a C, the crazy curving on this test will net me at least a high B, possibly a low A.

so, as promised: wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee! wheee!

also, i came up with a zeugma while sitting in my Calculus class: the boy and the square root function he was working on were irrational.
it's not grammatically pretty, but i was trying to learn how to integrate natural log functions while i came up with this, so you'll have to excuse me. i'm sure one of you enterprising young people can make it prettier.

finally, i got the new Mario Kart for the GameCube and an extra controller for me and the missus. next time we all get together, someone should bring two extra controllers and four people can play at a time. and no bitching because everyone will enjoy this game (hell, even Halifax enjoyed playing the N64 version).

now reading: JSA: Stealing Thunder (Book 5)- Geoff Johns, David S. Goyer, Leonard Kirk

thecomicman spoke @ 10:47 AM |

November 18, 2003

gah!

so, i was really digging Faulkner. the novel was good. while the first two sections were almost unintelligble (something you all know i hate as evidenced by my frequent rants against James Joyce), they were unintelligble for a reason. the first part was written in the first person from the perspective of a mentally retarded man. the second was also in the first person from the perspective of a man going insane. see, it makes sense.
the next two parts made perfect sense and cleared up whatever things i was still fuzzy on from the opening two parts.
so, how does Faulkner ruin an otherwise excellent book? by not giving me a fucking ending. there is no resolution whatsoever. the main thread of the story (Caddy, Quentin, and Jason) is not resolved at all. this pisses me off. i want my ending goddammit.
i hear almost every one of Faulkner's novels take place in a shared universe, so maybe i'll find my answers in another novel.
maybe i'll tackle them after i finish the massively gargantuan 'Gone with the Wind.'

now reading: The Sound and the Fury- William Faulkner

thecomicman spoke @ 12:22 PM |

November 14, 2003

Kurtz and his craziness

i don't mean Col. Kurtz (although he was obviously crazy), i mean Scott Kurtz, creator of that tasty, tasty webcomic PvP.

his crazy craziness on Matrix Revolutions can be seen here.

i will now take him apart.

don't read either his craziness nor my own if you haven't seen the movie.

i'm mostly interested in his bullet points at the end. i have numbered my responses to his comments exactly the same. maybe you want both windows open so you can see both texts.

1) is it cheap to make EMPs? is it feasible to make EMP jewelery? and EMPs work only on things in its radius, including your ship and other EMPs (as we saw in Reloaded when Bane threw the switch on his ship and took out the entire defensive line). but the actual point of that last sentence was, if you got every Bane, Kid, and Zee carrying EMPs around Zion, what's to stop them from getting jittery and switching their personal EMPs on and knocking everone elses out, plus their APUs, plus the entire city of Zion, etc. it seems the makers of EMPs in Zion thought this out more than Kurtz did.

would an EMP earring even have enough power to knock out a Sentinel?

2) because they'd rather be creating "mechs, ballistic weapons and high yield ammunition" than worrying about fashion. they're in the middle of a war for their lives, not in a Parisian cafe. they don't have the luxury to care how clothes make them look.

3) this is just totally wrong. Zion survived at the end. Neo brokered peace with the machines by killing Smith(s) and they all got up and left Zion alone. sure, pieces here and there got a little mangled, but the city was left mostly intact. the Matrix didn't reboot; it's the same Matrix, just Smith-less. but yes, Trinity did die, and kudos to the writers for having the balls to kill off a major character.

"The only weird part was that the writers seemed unaware of this." that's because it didn't actually happen.

"The Architect agreeing to free everyone that wants out of the Matrix makes no sense at all."
this pisses me off most of all. in real life, there are two ways to win a conflict: you negotiate or you totally destroy your opponent. it seems people were angry at the ending because humans didn't totally destroy the machines. they can't, goddammit! this was never an option. at the end of the Matrix when Neo tells the machines things are going to change, he also says "I don't know how this will end." this ended in a negotiation for peace. things did change. where the hell did people get the impression that humans were going to totally destroy the machines? the machines were close to destroying the humans, until Neo showed up and said, "Yeah, you could do that, but then Smith will kill all of you." Neo could do something the machines couldn't. they needed Neo, and Neo needed them to stop the war. hey, look at that, it's a fucking negotiation.

4) No. Bane died because Neo killed him. since the Oracle, Seraph, and the little Indian girl all survived being taken over by Smith, it stands to reason that everyone else in the Matrix did too. why else would there even be a discussion at the end between the Oracle and the Architect about letting humanity go?

5) i'm not sure how... the programs were a means to an end. it's not like the first movie had testimonials from folks trapped inside the Matrix. the programs had things that Neo and crew needed to free the humans. in Reloaded, the Merovingian had the Keymaker, who could make a key into the source. in Revolutions, there were very few scenes about the programs. it was mostly Zion. it was always about humanity. do Neo and co. care about the Merovingian or Persephone? no, except that they have something they need. Seraph and the Oracle help them achieve their goals of freeing humanity by providing muscle and information, respectively. it was never about the programs.

6) this actually annoys me too. however, i think they mentioned that the power always came from the Source, the Machine City. but yeah, okay.

7) he ran away exactly once after achieving god-like power, and that was against the 100 Smiths. and that was because the only way he could win against him was to die (like at the end of Revolutions).

8) did Kurtz pay any attention? they lost all power when they flew above the clouds, including power for the EMP. read up on how an EMP works. you seem to think they work in ways they don't. even if an EMP worked with no power, the only way Neo and Trinity were able to get close enough to slingshot into the machine city was for Neo to destroy a lot of those machines before they were forced to go up. any other ship would have been destroyed long before they got to that point.

now, other points in his main text before his "bullshit points":

"The rebellion's goal is no longer to fight the war against the machines but to stop it at any cost. Where before the humans were screaming LIBERATION, they now are just begging to be left alone so they can live out their life peacefully beneath the earth's crust. The machines can have the surface if they will JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE."

this always the goddamned goal. i don't know where you got liberation from "I don't know what's going to happen, but things are going to change." the humans had been using guerrilla tactics from the word go. the only time they were in open warfare was when the machines came to them. you can't win a war using guerrilla tactics, especially when the opposition has unlimited resources and don't care about losing units in the field (not unlike the Russians during WWII). and even if liberation was the goal, didn't they get exactly that when the Architect said he was letting everyone go from the Matrix?

"Basically, he restores the Matrix to working order, and starts the cycle of oppression over again. Then he dies. The end."

this is just ridiculous. he brokered peace. this is tons more than they had three seconds before he brokered peace (which was certain death).

his made-up (that's right, made-up) dialogue between the Architect and the Oracle is also ridiculous. the Architect never says "If they get uppity again, we'll just stomp them out of exist[e]nce" or anything remotely like it. in fact. most of their discussion is about what a huge chance the Oracle took in getting things to change. hey, sound familiar? it should, because Neo said the exact same thing at the end of the first movie.

things Kurtz should have bitched about, but didn't:

Trinity's death scene: "Say 'I love you' already!"
...that's it. i'll probably remember more later, but right now, i'm in 'defend' mode, so you'll excuse me if i can't switch to 'attack' mode on a dime.

now reading: The Dragon Bellow Conspiracy (Usagi Yojimbo, Book 4)- Stan Sakai

thecomicman spoke @ 12:13 PM |

November 13, 2003

rematch of the century!

well, not really, but yesterday i took my second Calculus midterm.

i feel i did well, but then again, i felt that way last time too.

i will find out Wednesday what i got and you kids will either get an expletive filled rant or a bunch of whees. only time will tell.

now reading: Their Eyes Were Watching God- Zora Neale Hurston

thecomicman spoke @ 12:42 PM |

November 08, 2003

"Luke, I am your comic book clerk."

believe it or not, Mark Hamill was at the store today and yesterday. i didn't post about it yesterday because my interaction with him was merely getting a chair for him and saying, "Here you go, Mr. Hamill" (he was there doing an interview). i was totally geeking, however.

today he came back to shop and i immediately made myself available for service. he was looking at a comic on our wall (it was a JLA 100-page special) and he then asked me if i could get it for him (he's a pretty short guy). i stood on my tiptoes, grabbed it, and gave it to him. he looked through it, then looked over at me and said,

"See? I am too short to be a Stormtrooper."

if Harrison Ford ever comes into the store and tells me not to "get cocky," my head will explode.

now reading: The Matrix Comics, Vol. 1- Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski, Geof Darrow, Bill Sienkiewicz, Neil Gaiman, Ted McKeever, John Van Fleet, Dave Gibbons, David Lapham, Peter Bagge

thecomicman spoke @ 10:26 PM |

November 04, 2003

"Orf wiv 'is 'ead!"

so says the Red Queen from the Crazy Gang.

i have just finished reading the entire Excalibur comic series (125 issues) and i am very... saddened. the early issues (from one to about 65-70) were some of the best stuff i've ever read. this was wildly inventive stuff written on and off by Chris Claremont (before his subsequent mental breakdowns) and Alan Davis. at about issue 70, the series went downhill really fast (in about an issue) and the next five or so issues were really painful to read (like an issue of X-treme X-men). but then it got better. Warren Ellis stepped in at about issue eighty or so and brought the book way up, but still not as high as the original days (although, i got to see Ellis' counterpart in the Marvel Universe in Peter Wisdom [have you ever noticed how in every book that Ellis takes over, he will insert one remarkably rude and spiteful Englishman?]). Ellis left at issue 100 and Ben Raab took over (this was before he started writing Stan Lee-style [with more 1000-word pictures than actual pictures per page]), and the series dropped a small notch. but then came issues 124-5, Captain Britain and Meggan's wedding. all that wildly inventive stuff that Davis and Claremont cooked up came back for one last hurrah, and sent the book off very nicely (making me feel all nice and gooey inside),

everyone should read those first 65-70 issues of Excalibur 'cause they totally rock my meerkats.

on a side note, i've decided on investing in a Meerkat Stamp of Approval. it'll say 'Rocked My Meerkats' on everything i stamp it with.

now reading: Sidewalk- Mitchell Duneier, Hakim Hasan, Ovie Carter

thecomicman spoke @ 02:08 AM |