July 20, 2006

Star Trek fever

okay, listen. i'm really into Star Trek right now. i want so bad to do nothing but watch Star Trek (i'm downloading episodes of Voyager, Enterprise, and DS9). if anybody has the following seasons to lend me, that would be awesome:

Enterprise, Seasons 1-4
Voyager, Seasons 1-7
DS9, Seasons 4-7

obviously, not all at once 'cause i'm not that fast. in fact, be warned that i am notoriously awful at getting lent items back in a timely manner. you'll get it back as soon as you ask for it, but if left to my own devices, it's possible i may keep your DVDs for years (ask any of my co-workers who have ever lent me DVDs). on the upside, you all know where i live and can kidney punch me if i don't get your stuff back when you ask for it.

thecomicman spoke @ 05:38 PM |

July 01, 2006

True Comic Book Clerk Stories #6

customer: Dude, Superman Returns was awesome.
me: i don't know man. those trailers look awful.
customer: No, seriously. It was so good, I was in tears at one point.
customer's friend: yeah, but you were that way during Cars, too.

but, while we're on the subject, Superman Returns was actually pretty good, with the exception of some nits that i will pick ad nauseum later on, when i write up my full review.

thecomicman spoke @ 06:22 PM |

Batwoman is a hot lesbian

you should all go read this by my co-worker Laura and then come back here where i disagree with her a lot.

firstly, i'm glad we made a distinction between the creative team and the marketing team.

Laura failed to mention that Kate Kane is, in fact, in the closet. no one (in the the world of the story) knows she is gay, except for Montoya (so far). Kate Kane is a rich socialite first, and gay second. she dresses up in evening gowns, high heels, and yes, even red lipstick, not because she is a hot lesbian, but because she is a hot rich Gotham socialite, who many think is straight; who many think is trying to land a rich socialite man. mark my words, i predict that she will be outed and this evening gown thing will end because she will no longer have a reason to wear it (no matter how hot it may be).

Laura's (and others of the same mindset) problem cannot be with the character, because we have only seen her for three pages (i counted); her problem cannot be with the creators, because we haven't seen enough of the character to know if they fucked her up or not; no, her problem is with the media hype (her problem is also with J.G. Jones' inability to draw regular sized boobs). if DC Editorial had not leaked the fact that there would be a new Batwoman, and oh yeah, she's going to be gay, we would not be talking about this. all we would have seen is that one of Montoya's old girlfriends is a rich Gotham socialite who's name is eerily similar to an old Silver Age character that has been retconned away. but marketing is supposed to get us talking about new products, so DC Editorial did a very good job.

also, as far as i knew (and this comes from talking to customers when the issue in question actually came out), people weren't angry because there was a gay male in Green Lantern; they were angry because immediately after he came out to the readers, he was beaten nearly to death. Winnick made this character gay only so that he could have someone else gay bash him and then make a big thing out of it. Sunfire of the Exiles died a particularly gruesome death under Winnick's pen, too. and while we're on the subject of Winnick, this asshole makes everything into an after school special. this Green Lantern arc about the gay bashing, the Green Lantern/Green Arrow arc about the space drugs (space drugs for fuck's sake), his Outsiders arc about child slavery, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. the man can't touch a real societal problem without getting on his goddamn high horse and telling us all How It Is.

by the way, i'm interested in fan furor (or lack thereof) about Moon Knight #3, where Frenchie comes out of the closet and is then savagely beaten by the Commitee.

thecomicman spoke @ 05:57 PM |

From Hell's heart, I stab at thee, John Byrne!

so, i'm reading my weekly dose of Lying in the Gutters by Rich Johnston over at CBR, and he posts this thing about John Byrne calling a kid an asshole because he's looking forward to 'Lost Girls,' Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie's pornographic look at Wendy, Dorothy, and Alice, on a thread over at John Byrne's forums.

i go and read this thread, mostly because i'm a masochist, and while wading through nonsense about whether or not Alan Moore is a hypocrite and whether or not 'Lost Girls' will be literary, John Byrne speaks up and says:

"It is patently absurd to suggest that a writer should be able to take fictional characters created by others and invert their established portrayals."

Jason, my co-worker, will attest that i actually fell over and writhed on the ground for a long time before i could explain to him why i had gone into an apoplectic fit.

John Bynre, you gynormous jackass! what have you done, in your entire comics career, but "take fictional characters created by others and invert their established portrayals?" in fact, what have all comics writers and artists done except "take fictional characters created by others and invert their established portrayals," with the sole exception of the first couple of guys in the field (and even then, one can draw a clear line from Doc Savage to Superman and from the Shadow to Batman), but let's get back to the guy who actually said such a retarded thing.

you wrote Man of Steel, you moron. you reinvented the early years of arguably the most iconic superhero of all time, and mucked about with his origin to boot. you even insisted DC start with a new #1 issue so that this would be your Superman. did you create Superman? no, no you did not. but maybe that's too far back in your career and you're too old to remember it. let's take something more recent, something like the Doom Patrol. the Doom Patrol has existed for decades before you came along and retconned it all away so you could start from scratch and add three of your own characters that you had created specifically to join this perverted Doom Patrol.

i hate you John Byrne, and you almost make me rethink my whole separation of art and artist, you horrible rat bastard.

thecomicman spoke @ 02:40 PM |