September 11, 2006

obligatory 9/11 post

it's Monday.

thecomicman spoke @ 07:48 PM |

September 10, 2006

Fantasy Star Trek Crew

so, because i'm this huge geek, i decided to make my fantasy Star Trek crew. here it is:

soooo geeky.

Captain: James Tiberius Kirk

listen, i loves me some Picard and Sisko, but c'mon! no contest. Kirk is the muthafuckin' man!

First Officer: William Thomas Riker

originally, this was going to be Spock because Spock is the best First Officer of all time. but then i started thinking about how awesome it would be if Riker and Kirk got into a contest of who could have the most women during their five-year mission, and that sold it for me.

Helm Officers: Data and Nog

there are two helms, therefore, there should be two helm officers. i think the small talk between these two when Kirk isn't ordering them to go hither and thither would be priceless.

Chief Engineer: Miles Edward O'Brien

all respect to Scotty, but this was also no contest. O'Brien's general cantankerousness at having to constantly fix everything on Terok Nor during the first season and a half of DS9 was funny, but the important part was that he actually did fix everything.

Security Chief: Odo

i'm a fan of the outsiders. every Star Trek series had the outsider, the guy that didn't really fit in and didn't quite get the humans around him (you'll find three of the five on this list; Spock losing out to a five-year sex contest). Odo maybe was the best outsider, better than Data and The Doctor (fuck T'Pol) and his story arc was definitely the best (neither Data nor The Doctor had to wage a war against their own people). plus, Odo always got his man.

Science Officer: Jadzia Dax

at first, there was a three-way tie for this position between Dax, Data, and Seven of Nine. Data was out of the running when i realized i could stick him on the helm, and as far as sexiest Star Trek woman of all time goes, Jadzia Dax wins every single time. it also helps that she's a better science officer.

Chief Medical Officer: The Doctor

every Star Trek doctor has something awesome about them. McCoy was the first, and pioneered the "I'm a doctor, not a..." tagline; Crusher... okay, all but Crusher; Bashir had that "I'm a young idealist on the frontier" thing going (plus, he was a spy-in-training); and Phlox was funny (admit it, he was); but The Doctor had all of that and more. he was very funny, albeit accidentally so; his bedside manner was horrible and while the crew found it annoying, viewers found it hilarous. while not a young idealist, he was on a very real frontier and had to deal with all kinds of new species and medical procedures. he was also an awesome outsider, the hologram that slowly grew to be a sentient being. and he had some awesome "I'm a doctor, not a..." lines including bartender and doorstop.

Chief Nurse: Christine Chapel

because every doctor needs a nurse he can depend on, and Kes sucks.

Communications Officer: Hoshi Sato

Hoshi Sato is the only Communications Officer worth a damn. Harry Kim is too bland and, i'm sorry, but all Uhura did was press buttons and look cute. Hoshi was an expert on languages and could crack some very hard codes with those skills, which is also super awesome good.

Bar, Lounge, Holosuite, Mess Hall Operators: Quark, Guinan, and Neelix

Quark is the only good character here. Guinan is bland and Neelix is kind of obnoxious. but think of the great arguments these three would have on how to run the bar. this could be a show in and of itself!

and that's my fantasy Trek crew. if we threw in other sci-fi shows, this would be a very different crew (for example, Starbuck replaces Nog on the helm and she would pilot every single other thing that's remotely pilotable, Han Solo and Chewie take out O'Brien as the engineers, and will help pilot things that Starbuck isn't, and Colonel Tigh takes over First Officer duties).

thecomicman spoke @ 02:03 PM |

September 07, 2006

i'm published!

check me out!

this is obviously not in reference the novel i just finished, but i have been published nonetheless. according to our beloved Phil, i'm on the front page of the Queens Examiner, however, hunting a printed copy of this sucker down has been daunting and unsuccessful. so, if anybody sees the Queens Examiner lying around with my name on the front page, grab like ten or so. i will totally compensate you.

thecomicman spoke @ 04:51 PM |

September 01, 2006

everybody says they're going to write a novel...

...but i actually have.

*insert pantsless happy dance here*

now, when i say 'finished,' i mean i have finished the actual writing. there is a beginning, a middle, and an end. now, i will make a solo editing run before i let my dearest friends rip me a new one.

if you would like a copy of my novel for the purposes of helping fix problems and telling what sucks and why, email me. if you don't know my email, shame on you, but you'll probably have to call me or leave your email in the comments section here. if you would like a copy of my novel simply to read it for fun, well tough. you're going to have to wait until it's published and then buy it, you cheap bastards.

thecomicman spoke @ 05:25 PM |