February 24, 2007

"Who are the Architects?"

The ghost of Confederate General James E.B. Stuart asked the young Genius Jones, giving him a dime.

"The ones who decide Who's Who... and Who Isn't. They are the official guides to the universe. When it was decided that one fashioned by the Architects that preceded them didn't make cents, they knocked the old one down and built a new one. This is the fourth time it's happened-- in this universe." Genius Jones continued climbing up the rope ladder onto Spanish pirate Captain Fear's ghost ship.

"'This universe?'" Traci Thirteen asked, climbing up behind young Jones.

Settling onto a cannon, Genius Jones answers, "There's another universe that these Architects are at war with. One that reinvents itself every summer-- so 'Things will bever be the same again,' it claims."

Professional skeptic Dr. Thirteen, his daughter Traci, I... Vampire, French caveman Anthro, Captain Fear, General Stuart, and Infectious Lass of the Legion of Substitute Heroes are all gathered around Genius Jones, trying to grasp the significance of what the boy has just said.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I read Tales of the Unexpected. Not because of the awful, awful Spectre story, but because of the awesome, awesome Dr. Thirteen back-up. The Primate Patrol just showed up too, and while I'm normally against all this Silver Age silliness, I'm all for it when it's being used to make jabs at Marvel and DC and their continuing efforts to alienate fans with dumb crossovers and company reboots.

thecomicman spoke @ 08:23 PM |

February 15, 2007

Obama's not black?

so, i hear that some people are saying that Obama isn't really black because his dad is from Kenya and he's not descended from West African slaves who were brought to America.

what?

and when i said "some people" up there, i meant "some black people." Debra Dickerson, author of The End of Blackness, said that Obama has never had the "black experience." Out of curiosity, how many black people have had the "black experience?" What exactly is the "black experience?" I guarantee that if you ask five different black people what the "black experience" is, you will get five different answers.

and isn't it racist for a black person to say another black person isn't black because he or she doesn't conform to the first black person's idea of blackness? or does it only count when white people say it? because if a white person had said Obama wasn't black, there'd be a shitstorm.

thecomicman spoke @ 10:22 AM |

February 02, 2007

the one-cent gaming facility

"From the moment I chose to insult Gabe's spelling in the last post, I felt confident that I would screw something up in my own, and pored over my output with a watchmaker's precision. A drunken watchmaker's precision. The precision of a schizoid vagrant who has recently found a watch. I resolved the issues in the old post, because I could no longer abide them - but the crimes were real. Let this be their epitaph.

This said, to imply some parity between my occasional lapses and his aggressive, animal assault on language is dangerous. It is also specious - a word he doesn't know."

from Penny Arcade awhile back. i love Tycho's writing a lot, but this is probably my favorite line ever. especially the end. that shit's hilarious.

thecomicman spoke @ 03:34 PM |